Sunday, March 18, 2007

Chemistry in the lab

132000 – This is the number of hits that Google gets when you search for ‘Guava + experiments”. My eyes, scrolled down, following the blue hyperlinks which destined themselves in some other corner of this world.

I found what I was looking for. And the link took me back into time – once again.

I was standing alone in that silence filled huge room. The shelves around were stacked with blue and red soln and on the grey door it was written in white font on a black rectangular board – ‘Chemistry Lab’. I loved chemistry and could have spent my life time there if not my craze for physics. One by one everybody had gone home. But I was there; I needed to finish my experiment for this week. I had missed it when others were completing it because of the inter house volleyball match – which we pathetically lost: thanks to me.
Blue was the color I was looking for but don’t know why it was giving me a dark brown – experiment gone haywire. I looked at tutor’s “Basic mistake list” – Blue, shady green…ah brown: Excess of HCl . Ghosh!! I need to start it all again. I began my next level of curses for the guy who added this to the CBSE syllabus.
This time I am going to make it “I was getting late, as usual. I put in that extra ounce of concentration. I ll find this salt. I hated salt. Didn’t know why they gave any sugar- may be because it was edible with any yuk!

Tap Tap… somebody was coming down the stair to the lab. We had our lab below the ground level. Pretty unusual, but then there was nothing usual in this school.

The foot taps then stopped.

May be checking out for the assistant” – who had left long ago. I turned back to see who it was. Then I missed my beat.

It was her.

I turned back and tried to act as if I hadn’t heard her coming. “A drop of sulphuric acid then some water…careful …then…ah….talk to her” I knew I was going to repeat it all again.

She came and stood besides me. “ which salt?” she asked with a smile. “I don’t know…I been trying to find it for the last one hour” I said with all my eyes on the test-tube. “You?here?at this time? …let me guess …you missed your practical for this week?” “Nah..I needed some guava ..so came to ask the assist to bring it” she said with mocking smile.” What for?? I think apples are better….an apple a day keeps the doc away ”
“ and if the doc is good looking keep the apple away” she completed. I smiled.“no yaar ..its for that oxalate ion test…one of ferrous oxide” she reasoned. I looked up. I couldn’t see the sky but my head got clouded after hearing that. “Why are you looking confused” she asked. “you were talking chemistry or something else ?” I was getting naughty. “Don’t flirt ...don’t start flirting”. “That’s the new experiment we need to do for the week next…I was preparing my self” she elucidated. “how boring!!!” I didn’t say it aloud. But still I liked her.” Do you need any help?” she asked. “Ya I guess so, but I used to give chances to only lovely girls” I winked. “ don’t flirt … don’t flirt you moron!!…she is not that type” somebody was shouting in bossy voice from inside. “Oh! Is that so?…I too used give this offer to smart and handsome guys. I guess I should probably leave” she said with an irritated tone.“No wait. I was joking…please help me…I have done up to this” I showed my stat sheet.

We finished the experiment in the next 10 min or so. It was easy but not before she came.

And now when she left, it’s become all the more difficult.

We did the oxalate ion experiment together. At least partially; I just bought the guava, the rest she did.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Confused

I was checking down the lane for that stranger. But she never came, may be she came, but I never knew that she was my stranger then I stopped checking, quite reclining to myself for some or the other reason. I thought I got dejected but lately I realized with all my horrors that why I try to be elusive.
Commitment – whether it’s to follow or to fall; you need them and that’s one sure thing that I lack. I want to do something but then next moment I feel –‘ whats the use if after all these I am wrong” . This lackadaisical feeling just languishes your spirit. The dreams that I cherish aren’t big not for me but then I do not have the vigor to follow them. Half across the lane I keep running and then I stop and ponder “I have reached so far, lets stop there is no thrill anymore chasing this.”
Met across many, but heart caught trapped only once or twice and there too I paused, with a deep apprehension of being right or wrong. Only years have passed, and still, I stand the same with that sheer confusion.

But then am I right or wrong in this?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Should have...

It was a hot day, in fact an unusually hot day. His heart was racing to reach home, To escape from this scorching heat and the black dust that blurred his vision now and then. He cursed himself for not taking his sunglasses. “10 more minutes” he thought.

Not very far, he could see the green signal granting him the permission to cut across the last main street before he reached his final destination, home. He didn’t want to miss this one, involuntarily the accelerator raised and the monster machine raced ahead, leaving behind all the incompetent just to awe. Just 100 yards before, the color changed into a blinking yellow. Still he believed he could make it. But the god fearing and rule
Abiding guy in the black civic ahead had other plans. The monster machine stopped with screeching sound that showed the pain his disc brake underwent. “ah..Shit man” He could have got away with it. The signal started his slow count backwards 80...79...78.
The heat inside his helmet was unbearable so to have some fresh air soothe his strain, he removed them.

The old man didn’t have the right arm, looked like it got severed in an accident. It was sure not a congenital tragedy. Without the help of that bended stick his mobility was restricted. But then it was not what made him beg either. For an unknown reason he was on this street and here only begging let him sustain his life. With the weary eyes and a hopeful look he walked towards him. The signal was not still green. His hand fumbled for his wallet.” it’s in my left pocket…” he tried hard. He caught his wallet with his left hand and still trying hard not to let the helmet fall down. There were notes of different denomination but he didn’t want to part them, he had worked hard for them. “And there were many beggars like this one. I can’t give them all” he reasoned. Suddenly his N70 started its vibration. He switched on his blue tooth.” hello..” he hated this piece of his investment, still he had to bear it. The old man still was eyeing him. He tried to look somewhere else.” a that’s it” he turned off the blue tooth. He again began the search for a coin. “Its there” he thought.

oye kiska wait kar rahe ho”( whom are you waiting for) somebody shouted from behind. The green signal blinked and hundreds of horns blared at once. He quickly put the wallet back. The monster roared to life again lurching forward. In the rear view mirror he saw the old man waiting for another red signal.