Destinations

 Today I was standing on my balcony looking at the clouds passing by. It look so beautiful to see. Almost like somebody running to reach somewhere. On that blue canvas,  the white shades shadowing each other. Some going fast, some going slow. But each them knew where they were going. I felt a tinge of envy in my heart about them knowing  their destination. 

Somewhere somehow I lost sight of my destination. Why ? 

But what is life ? Maybe finding new destinations every now and then. Chasing them. Ending up at some and loosing sight of others.

The Judgement

 How do you know you lived a good life ? Its death that celebrates the life you had. 

Today, somebody close to me passed away. I am still not clear why he was close to me. But when I heard the news, it meant something to me. I shutdown my laptop to attend his funeral. Just wanted to see him one last time. 

May be it was the guilt that I did not see him when he was alive that drove me. May be it was the camaraderie that started between a 10 year old and a 58 year old. We seldom spoke. But every time we spoke it was an epiphany. It was that feeling that somebody has walked through the path that you wish to follow or perhaps you are following and nobody in the world understands the meaning of doing the same.

I reached hardly an hour before the funeral. I expected a silent affair. After all, when an 88 year old passes away, few people turn up. Especially after Covid-19 when people have reconciled with death. But it was not so. Throngs of people were there; relatives, some neighbors, few friends, friends of his children and perhaps one or two like me. I released that life is judged by the death and the farewell you have. He died peacefully in his sleep and there were many to bid him goodbye. 

And if i were to die today, I can hardly count on 5 people who would turn up. Need to catch up!

Days of Quarantine - X

Playing in the shadows,

Way behind the lights,

For things unknown.

Days of Quarantine - 4

I folded so that there is no sound.
But there is.
The sound of silence.
Deafeningly loud.

Days of Quarantine - 3

Some drink to forget.

Some drink to remember.

Days of Quarantine - 2

Pretty much boils down to your hands.
May be my hands.

May be both of our hands.

Days of Quarantine - 1

The isolation that may span into many more days and beyond. To take stock of my life during the days to come,  I take these pictures.

Taking pictures; something which I forgot but loved doing a long ago. In the midst of packing, I took my old camera. Still covered with dust and autofocus not working, it clicked. It had to be poked, a lot, to bring back to life. A photo clicked with half heart and half will.

For all those steps that I didn't take,

And for all those steps that I took,

The journey is still not over.