Expectation of expecting nothing.

I think..... , I hope......, I would like to ......., I may......etc etc. The more I use these, deeper shit holes I am in. I don’t expect anything but to err is human sometimes i become just like 99.9% of the mass:- a commoner.
Today I belong to this category and i expect to go home for visu. I haven’t called home for the last 4 days and my mobile is switched off (that piece of junk should always be kept in that mode!!!). But so far no work has come and I EXPECT it to be anytime from now. i hate slogging my ass for more than 8 hours After all this company which i work doesn’t pay me that much!!! But the other part of the coin is that even if they would have paid me a million, my soul is not here and i am still in that trance from which my peers have left me for their good . But me??? I again EXPECT something to happen and what that is i dont know!!!
The power of expectation is too much. it can motivate you higher or to stoop down below the earth. Expectation was always high on me. be it in the family, be it in the school, be it in the college and be it with my friends. They know me . But the truth i don’t know myself and am in the enduring process of search. The alacrity that pushes me towards it is very very mere compared to a commoner. When I see around People have something to gain. They are expecting irrespective of the results and that move them but me ? i am expecting nothing so no worries and no tensions and I am happy as the way i am . i know that will change when i find out what the god damn business i have here in the so called life. But that again is an EXPECTATION, isn’t it??
I wrote it for the sake of writing and am I EXPECTING something from your side for this
ill-literary masterpiece? Naaaaaaaaayyy