Confused

I was checking down the lane for that stranger. But she never came, may be she came, but I never knew that she was my stranger then I stopped checking, quite reclining to myself for some or the other reason. I thought I got dejected but lately I realized with all my horrors that why I try to be elusive.
Commitment – whether it’s to follow or to fall; you need them and that’s one sure thing that I lack. I want to do something but then next moment I feel –‘ whats the use if after all these I am wrong” . This lackadaisical feeling just languishes your spirit. The dreams that I cherish aren’t big not for me but then I do not have the vigor to follow them. Half across the lane I keep running and then I stop and ponder “I have reached so far, lets stop there is no thrill anymore chasing this.”
Met across many, but heart caught trapped only once or twice and there too I paused, with a deep apprehension of being right or wrong. Only years have passed, and still, I stand the same with that sheer confusion.

But then am I right or wrong in this?