Record broken.

“It says you had hemoptysis, is it true?” He asked with a surprise after seeing me

“If it says that then it must be true. ..by the way what is hemoptysis ?” I asked. It was in the reference medical record, the doctor from other room had sent in, for an expert comment here.

“Oh! ….Vomiting blood.” Said the expert without the light mood I tried to create.

“And it also says you vomited around half a glass?” Expert was now coming to his expertise mode.

“Depends on with what glass you are measuring.” I retorted back.

“If it was a filter-coffee glass – then it was around half else if the glass is of the standard fruit juice mug then I would say a little less than the quarter. But if you were taking any non-tropical fruit juice then….”

“Ok..ok I get it.” Expert was getting impatient.

“Was it fresh blood? “– Expert was not going to leave any stone unturned.

“Since it came from my mouth, I guess it should be fresh”. What a stupid question – I thought.

“No…that’s not what I meant. Was it black?” - Another idiotic-expert question.

“Duh….no it was red – pure wine red, Doctor don’t take them serious I am just another normal guy.” I commented at my friends who always thought I was a bit tad abnormal.

“I understood that by now.” Expert was now taking sides.

“Umm….so whats my problem ?” – I wanted to sound normal.

I don’t see anything…all tests are normal. Expert had made his decision.

“Thank you doctor, see you then.” I was ready to run amok.

“No..Not so fast, since you came and hemoptysis being serious issue we would like to put you under observation” – who the heck said he was an expert!!!

“But I have never been admitted in a hospital, and I don’t want my record to be broken, I promise I would take all the pills that you prescribe. But please please don’t admit” – I was literally on my knees.

He smiled.

Whosever said India is a free country is dead wrong. Where was my right to freedom when I was admitted against my wish? I was given a bed with white-mental-patient attire to wear. Now it is perfect, my friends told – just another psycho treating for some weird psychotic disorder.

But the worst part was yet to come – on my left side, there was a guy admitted for insomnia –INSOMNIA!! Who admits somebody for that? And on my right was a guy who had a surgery in his eye that evening because he forgot to remove his glasses while playing cricket in his hostel corridor and who always said “who is there?” for every sound he heard. For rest of 2 nights I couldn’t sleep because insomniac didn’t want to put off the light and in the day time, I couldnt shut my eyes because of the constant begging from the blind guy.