PhD

In the darkest zone of your mind, there is this fear murmuring in the murkiest voice saying "What if". Sometimes grunting in between with a raucous sound making your heart beat more than 72 times per minute. And thats when you do your retrospection - "Did I make the right decision?". Like a demonic conscience pricking your heart for a self confession sort of, it further deepens the wound. You know nothing else can be done except to hope for the best. And thats what precisely what everybody else would say to you - "All is going to be fine". Bah! a voice echoes again from that darkest zone, reverberating across the same sanctum that you created while making the very decision you thought was a right decision but is being denounced now. Thinking that what you did all these years pondering and breaking your sweat and sleep over, sometimes, may never be appreciated by anybody except you.

But you live on as if you are deaf, doing the very same thing that you did yesterday as if that yesterday didn't exist at all. Hoping this nth time, there is a miracle.

And they say PhD is not a degree but a state of mind - well said whosoever that was.