I do not wish to marry. At least for now. And I am 31 which is like the upper limit for Indian men to get married. My reasons are many which I do not wish to divulge now.
However, my family expects me to marry and settle down. So they take me to see these brides around my neighborhood. It was like working on constraint optimization problem with constraints being
1. Should be near our town within a radius of 150 km or so
2. Should be holder of professional degree and working
3. Should be not more than 30 years old
4. Most importantly - the horoscope should match
And the objective function is ...I just don't know what. So my dad, mom and granny does rounds of these search and come up with possible fantastic life partners for me. Had the Google guys seen this search process they would have actually added a matrimonial search category on Google home page.
Coming back to topic of this post.
Whatever may be the objective function they had, mine was very simple. Make the candidates reject me at all instances. Here are the few instance of how I did it.
Candidate No:1
As I was new to this bride seeing ceremony. I was invited by the candidates father to have private conversation with her. And so i went for the mission 1. After the customary hello-hi, we talked about for some 45 min. I was sure this lady was going to say yes after this very glib talk. I some how had to turn the table else I though I would be bowled over in the first over itself. And there, she gave me the fountain head I needed. She asked me if I was a savings sort of guy and whether I save a lot. I humbly said that I live in the present and don't have yet bothered about the future. So no savings. I knew this answer would be unacceptable. So strike one, she rejects me.
Candidate No:2
After a minute into conversation, she says that she likes me. I was literally stunned. I had to think fast. And then she too gives her fountain head like the previous one. She says that she wishes to work after the marriage. I say why not. Then she makes this statement - "I got this job after a lot of hard work, will it be easy for me to get a job in Bangalore ?". I start by saying no it depends on your profile and then proceeds with laborious procedure to be followed to get a good job. She rejects me by saying that she can't stress out to get a job in Bangalore:).
Candidate No:3
This was easy. I knew this one was going to reject me after seeing her way of keeping the tea tray (with a thud). She rejects me as expected. I was getting good at this thing.
Candidate No:4
By this time, I got a job offer from abroad. So the people who were looking for such candidates started approaching my parents. This candidate had finished her MBBS and was trying for PG. She had tried once and didn't get through. Our families had met before and were at ease with each other. I thought this would be deal I would finally get slaughtered. So I had to play it safe and play it well. She told me that she required atleast 4 years time to crack and get her PG. I said I was fine with that. Then I played my trump card; i said I won't back for say 10 years from Europe. This put her away. She wanted to be with her parents. Reject it was again.
And the show still continuous.
PS: I know it is not good to waste the time of both parties. However, my incorrigible parents don't give me any option other than this. And I say it loud that every person I went to see were beautiful and sensible in their own way. It was just that I was not ready. And still am not ready.
Pic source:http://globeslother.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/arranged-marriage/
However, my family expects me to marry and settle down. So they take me to see these brides around my neighborhood. It was like working on constraint optimization problem with constraints being
1. Should be near our town within a radius of 150 km or so
2. Should be holder of professional degree and working
3. Should be not more than 30 years old
4. Most importantly - the horoscope should match
And the objective function is ...I just don't know what. So my dad, mom and granny does rounds of these search and come up with possible fantastic life partners for me. Had the Google guys seen this search process they would have actually added a matrimonial search category on Google home page.
Coming back to topic of this post.
Whatever may be the objective function they had, mine was very simple. Make the candidates reject me at all instances. Here are the few instance of how I did it.
Candidate No:1
As I was new to this bride seeing ceremony. I was invited by the candidates father to have private conversation with her. And so i went for the mission 1. After the customary hello-hi, we talked about for some 45 min. I was sure this lady was going to say yes after this very glib talk. I some how had to turn the table else I though I would be bowled over in the first over itself. And there, she gave me the fountain head I needed. She asked me if I was a savings sort of guy and whether I save a lot. I humbly said that I live in the present and don't have yet bothered about the future. So no savings. I knew this answer would be unacceptable. So strike one, she rejects me.
Candidate No:2
After a minute into conversation, she says that she likes me. I was literally stunned. I had to think fast. And then she too gives her fountain head like the previous one. She says that she wishes to work after the marriage. I say why not. Then she makes this statement - "I got this job after a lot of hard work, will it be easy for me to get a job in Bangalore ?". I start by saying no it depends on your profile and then proceeds with laborious procedure to be followed to get a good job. She rejects me by saying that she can't stress out to get a job in Bangalore:).
Candidate No:3
This was easy. I knew this one was going to reject me after seeing her way of keeping the tea tray (with a thud). She rejects me as expected. I was getting good at this thing.
Candidate No:4
By this time, I got a job offer from abroad. So the people who were looking for such candidates started approaching my parents. This candidate had finished her MBBS and was trying for PG. She had tried once and didn't get through. Our families had met before and were at ease with each other. I thought this would be deal I would finally get slaughtered. So I had to play it safe and play it well. She told me that she required atleast 4 years time to crack and get her PG. I said I was fine with that. Then I played my trump card; i said I won't back for say 10 years from Europe. This put her away. She wanted to be with her parents. Reject it was again.
And the show still continuous.
PS: I know it is not good to waste the time of both parties. However, my incorrigible parents don't give me any option other than this. And I say it loud that every person I went to see were beautiful and sensible in their own way. It was just that I was not ready. And still am not ready.
Pic source:http://globeslother.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/arranged-marriage/
2 comments:
:) haha very funny..
Thanks...!
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