I don't know.

“And what would you say when the same dream comes to you, repeatedly day after day, for 8 years” he sounded desperate.

And desperate was he.

“May you yourself created that obsession, until it got embossed somewhere in your sub conscious that she is the one”. She said from the other end of the phone.

“May be I created, but somewhere there was this belief that I was right, because not everything is logical and cannot be explained.”, He wanted to say it loud, but somewhere in his throat, that voice caught trapped and it never came out.

“I need to go, its getting late”. He wanted to avoid this conversation, as usual.

“Ok, then…. good night, take care.” She too had enough of it.

There were numerous things he failed to understand. Or rather he didn’t want to be understood.

During all these failures, he was acting according to the norms and pragmatics. But, nevertheless, it....... failed.

And that’s when he learned logic doesn't always gives you an explanation of about what’s happening. The more he tried to decipher it, the more muddled it became.

And that’s when he started believing it. Just like that. And he knew that its quite an impossible task to make somebody understand what one believes in. Only thing he can show them is how to live through it. And yes, he had to live through it, because only he believes in it.

PS:I know ...it sucks !!!

pic Courtsey:Bakfire

Psychogenic syncope

They said in hushed voice ‘she is going to be the topper; she has been doing it for the last 4 years’ ……‘Some say that she can finish a complete denture in less than an hour’

The door creaked to register its protest when she pushed it.

On the other end sat the 3 almighty. The famous trinity.

She was not new to this but every time was a first time for her. A first time that she would never get used to.

They gave the courtesy smile – an invitation to a massacre.

So…Ms Mehta how did your practical go?

It was Ok...Sirrrrr

Hmmm… I see that from your reading. Did you know the eyetooth was having a growth of more than 5mm ?

To err is human but to forgive is monstrosity!

Did you take the reading or you just wrote it out of thin air!! The ‘r’ of ‘air’ reverberated throughout.

I am not able to breath, I am seeing multiple personalities, are there 3 or 6? Why is this colorful ring coming in my eyes….

HOLD HER ..!!! Somebody shouted.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Time ticked away like a snail.
She opened her eyes slowly…

I think she prepared too much….

Please lie down..dont try to get up…

I… am …ok sir …. . With cluttered hand and that seemed like not supporting she got up . ( somehow ….!!)

Umm….sir …can you repeat the question.

Which one…oh…that eh ….never mind…..you don’t have to give your viva…we know you are good..if you are ok you can leave now….or if you want you lie down here for some more time…..

Uh…I am ok sir…..but….the viva….

No..Ms Mehta…we understand.

Slowly like a wounded beggar she move her feet towards the door.
Your last time can sometimes be worse than the last time. And numbers always doesn’t speak the truth…

Beyond the empty Spaces

I write. Though not continuously. There are blank spaces in between the words. An emptiness that doesn’t have continuity… They are white in color. And if you gaze at them with a purpose, they would tell you a million stories…. About me….those blank white spaces. Yet they are necessary evil, the one that completes my sentence because otherwise, as said by one of my friend, the sentence would be incomplete. An incoherency removed by adding uneven emptiness.

Every sentence I begin with on the opening page starts with a capital letter .But sometimes, while on a writing spree, I forget to make them in caps when I start a new line, but text editor, like a guide, tells me to change them now and then…..there are quite many who asks me to change. Just like I sometimes avoid the editor telling me what to make small and what to make big, I simply ignore them. But, yes, I do consider them.

In the end, there is the full stop. The sentences that are churned out, without a second thought, always end with them. And they are so placed with an intention. They complete the meaning….. Sometimes the confusion. But I decide where to place them; after all, it’s me who decides my life.

Confused

I was checking down the lane for that stranger. But she never came, may be she came, but I never knew that she was my stranger then I stopped checking, quite reclining to myself for some or the other reason. I thought I got dejected but lately I realized with all my horrors that why I try to be elusive.
Commitment – whether it’s to follow or to fall; you need them and that’s one sure thing that I lack. I want to do something but then next moment I feel –‘ whats the use if after all these I am wrong” . This lackadaisical feeling just languishes your spirit. The dreams that I cherish aren’t big not for me but then I do not have the vigor to follow them. Half across the lane I keep running and then I stop and ponder “I have reached so far, lets stop there is no thrill anymore chasing this.”
Met across many, but heart caught trapped only once or twice and there too I paused, with a deep apprehension of being right or wrong. Only years have passed, and still, I stand the same with that sheer confusion.

But then am I right or wrong in this?